I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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