I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
