can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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