I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
