would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
