I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
