soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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