dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
