All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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