A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
