why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
