last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
