The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
