You work out of a Hotel?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
