That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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