Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
there is puke in my bra ... again
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