He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
