Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
