Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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