He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
