Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize