I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
