We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
