girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
