whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
