I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
