I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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