still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
