): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
