I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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