Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
