this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize