wanna go halves on a baby?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
