glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
no, he came in my armpit
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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