i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize