Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize