He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
