so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
