I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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