White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
