but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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