Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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