So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
