my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
why does every cop we meet know your name?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
