I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
