Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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