My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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