Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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