My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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