dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
