i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
