my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
