Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
