There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
