I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
