I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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