they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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