Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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