I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
