You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
