Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
